I have always disliked money and money has never really taken to me, either. You might say, money and me have gone different directions. The way I have dealt with money is to try and adjust my life in a way, money is not my main focus. We call it, Living on the skinny. But in LA, the skinny is pretty fat, takes a lot to get by, so I was not completely surprised when I came out from the store and was approached by this irate woman who asked if the 1986 Volvo was mine. I could not image what I could have done, but the opposite was true. I had been telling God how I had no money.
The woman explained to me how someone in a black Mercedes had gotten her bumper entangle in the wheel well of my car, broke off a piece of her car and escaped without leaving any contact information, which in California is a crime called, hit and run. The woman had written down the license plate number and I took it to the police and they gave me her name and I tracked her down. She agreed the pay for the damage, but thats when things got weird. I didn’t expect very much because its only a small dent and I put off doing anything for a few weeks until finally I asked a mechanic.
He said it would probably be $750 but I should go to a body shop and get an exact estimate. That was real money, so I took his advice and the bodyshop told me $1600 and I was ecstatic. Thats when things got really weird. The reason I don’t like money is because money encourages me to be more than who I am. I become greedy, the avarice for wealth is a demon thirsting for money, only money can quench the thirst, while hungering for more. I became hard, not wanting to compromise, why should I, went my thinking, I was hit and run and that is crime. I should get all the money.
My mind was convinced, my heart was hard as a lawyer’s heart and my spirit was strident. Throughout the Shabbat all I could think about was money. I couldn’t study or pray with the proper attitude. I finally decided, I would just accept what was offered by the insurance company. Whatever it is it will be more than I have, which will be a relief. My friend tells me, I should not tell God, I have not money, better to say, I have no work. So I am beginning the week in humility.
Money is like a the thin coat of silver placed upon the pane of glass—prior to money, you could see through the glass into the world, but after the money, you can only see yourself. Money is modern day Hebrew is Kesef/Silver but can also mean Passion; in Aramaic, Kesef means Embarrassment. The message is clear, our longing for money in the end, ends with embarrassment.